


Christmas in Camelot

by Sir_LanceThot



Category: Arthurian Mythology & Related Fandoms, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975), Monty Python's Spamalot
Genre: Baking, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Guys Galahad’s being affectionate, Gwen has water powers so yeah, Ice Skating, Istg if y’all make Elsa jokes I’m gonna go feral, Lance is a himbo, M/M, Mild Language, SOUND THE ALARMS, and Herbert is supportive, and I succeeded bitches, failing at ice skating, i attempted to write the swamp accent phonetically, wow I actually made something straight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21662335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sir_LanceThot/pseuds/Sir_LanceThot
Summary: A collection of shippy ficlets about the knights of the round table in the Christmas season. There’s a total of four parts and they’ll be uploaded weekly until Christmas Eve.
Relationships: Bedevere/Galahad (Monty Python and the Holy Grail), Guinevere/Arthur Pendragon, Prince Herbert (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)/Lancelot du Lac
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	1. Winter Mornings

“Gwen, Gwen!”

Arthur gently shook his sleeping wife, who eventually awoke to the sight of her husband with a wide smile. “What is it, Art?” She asked through a yawn.

“It’s snowing!” He beamed and rocked back and forth on the bed. “…That’s nice, dear.” Gwen responded as she rolled over onto her side.

“Do you want to go out?” Arthur continued, “It’ll be fun! We could sled or make snowmen!”

“Arthur, it’s five in the morning. Maybe later.”

The king frowned and dramatically flopped back down on the bed. Gwen propped herself up and looked down at Arthur, “Well, if you want to go out, why don’t you take the knights? I’m sure they’d be fun!”

“Yeah, but it’s different,” Arthur whined, “It would _more_ fun with my beautiful wife.”

Gwen gently smiled and bent down to kiss Arthur’s neck, “Quit being a baby,” She paused, “Do you want to see something cool?”

Arthur turned around and sat up across from Gwen. “Absolutely!” She smirked, held up her hands, he watched in awe as light ice crystals sprouted from the tips of her fingers.

You see, despite Guinevere being human, she did have some sort of “ _power_ ” from when she was the Lady of the Lake. Nothing very big; little things like water manipulation and being able to produce water from the air. Although she had discretely used them against Galahad when he was being especially bratty, Arthur was the only one she had genuinely told, and he was in absolute amazement of them (not only was his wife sweet and beautiful, she was also magic!) However, when it turned colder, the usual water she could produce was turned to snow and ice, which Arthur had never seen before.

He stared in a sort of childlike wonder at the gentle snow falling around his queen. She noticed his reaction and moved her hands over his head, the snow now falling around him. The small snowflakes stuck to his dark hair, giving him an angelic appearance. He looked as handsome and beautiful as the first time she saw him; when he was a young man, traveling the forest and coming across her lake, and she knew that this man was truly worthy to be king.

She leaned over and cupped Arthur’s face as she tenderly kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her and returned the affection. After what seemed like a blissful eternity, the two separated, but continued to gaze at each other in sweet adoration.

“How did I ever end up with someone as amazing as you?” Arthur mused.

Guinevere giggled, “I could ask the same.”


	2. Hot and Cold

“I can’t believe you’ve never been skating before!” Bedevere said as he pulled an ice skate onto his foot, “It’s a _huge_ winter thing!”

“Well, _some of us_ were trying not to freeze to death,” Galahad retorted. He was also attempting to put on his skates, but having much more trouble. Bedevere noticed his struggle and walked over to the stump he was sitting on. He adjusted Galahad’s skates and managed to pull them on. “Want me to tie them for you?” Bedevere smirked up at the blonde, who returned it with a scowl. He bent over and grabbed the laces, “Shut it, prick.”

Bedevere stood up and began walking towards the frozen lake. He didn’t take offence to Galahad’s insults; he never meant them. It’s true, a lot of the time he was a flirty playboy, but he never got any _real_ affection back. So, when the tables were turned and _he_ was being flirted with, he became... _flustered_ to say the very least.

Galahad followed him, but stopped just before he reached the ice. Bedevere turned to him, “Do you need help?”

“No! I’m fine!” Galahad huffed before walking onto the ice and immediately fell over, which induced a light laughter from Bedevere. He stood back up and tried to balance himself. “See? Told you!” he remarked, standing unmoving with his arms strait out and his legs bent (but still standing, I guess.)

“Alright,” Bedevere quickly skated by him, but stopping next to him to whisper, “ _Then skate_ ,” before going further down the lake. Galahad would have been pretty annoyed by smug Bedevere if he hadn’t also been quite arousing.

* * *

“ _Shit!_ ”

For what felt like the billionth time that day, Galahad fell onto the cold, hard ice. He felt a light sprinkling of ice fly against him as Bedevere’s skates grinded to a halt beside him. “You alright?”

Galahad shifted from his side onto his knees, “Yeah.”

“You need help?”

“No, I already told you,” Galahad grumbled, “I’m fine on my own.”

“Dennis, you don’t have to be rude just because you’re jealous of me.”

Galahad scoffed, “Excuse me, I’m not _jealous!”_ He was a little jealous. Bedevere was actually really good at ice skating, not to mention he looked pretty cute doing it, as well. But there was no way he would let him know that.

“Good,” Bedevere held out a gloved hand, “Then you’ll be fine getting help from me.”

Galahad gazed up at his boyfriend, considering the offer. Maybe he could drop his ego for once, and give in to the genuine affection he wished for. He grabbed Bedevere’s hand and pulled himself up, although he instantly lost his balance and had to cling on to him.

Bedevere grinned and moved behind Galahad. “So, you want your legs about shoulder-width apart, and your toes should be slightly pointed in-” He put his hands on Galahad’s thighs (which Galahad enjoyed _very_ much) and adjusted his legs to what he had said. “-Then, to move, you push off on one foot and just keep alternating.” Bedevere grabbed his hand and slowly began moving forward, making sure he stayed at an easy pace. Galahad eventually became steadier and increased his speed, “Am I doing it?”

“Yeah, you’re doing great!” Bedevere smiled at Galahad, who looked a lot happier than he did earlier that day. It was a shame no one else got to see this side of him, but he did enjoy having the soft, caring, and tender Galahad all to himself.

Bedevere turned, grabbed both of Galahad’s hands, and pulled him close. Galahad stumbled, but stayed up. “You okay?” Bedevere asked.

“Y-yeah,” Galahad laughed.

“Good,” Bedevere smiled and quickly kissed him on his full, soft lips. Galahad immediately fell over, bringing Bedevere down with him.

He groaned and, once he realized he had fallen on top of Galahad, pushed himself off of him. “Good lord, are you alright?”

“ _Uh huh,_ ” Galahad sighed, starstruck and blushing like mad. “I think I’m done for today, you want to go back to the castle?”

“Sure,” Bedevere stood up and pulled the blonde up with him.

“Ugh, God, I don’t know if I can walk back, my ass hurts like hell,” Galahad groaned as he got up.

“Do you want me to carry you?”

“...Is that a serious offer?”

Galahad was quickly scooped up into Bedevere’s thick, warm arms, “You tell me!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be up the 17th :)


	3. An Attempt at Christmas Cookies

“Herbie,” Lance whined as he leaned into the kitchen, “Are they done yet?”

“Almost, dear,” Herbert replied, walking away from the stone oven after checking on the tray of cookies inside it.

Lance dramatically groaned and stumbled over to his husband. “I’m so hungry!” He wrapped his arms around Herbert’s petite shoulders and rested his head on top of his. “Can’t you make them bake faster?”

Herbert grinned and rubbed Lance’s arms, “Well, if you’re going to be like that, I suppose I could take them out a little early. It won’t do much harm.”

“This is why I love you so much,” Lancelot squeezed the prince tighter, causing him to laugh.

“You’ll have to let go of me first.”

“ _ Ugh, fine! _ ” Lance let his arms fall off of Herbert, who grabbed a bucket of water under the counter. “You pull them out, I’ll put out the fire.”

“Alright,” Lance walked over to the oven and grabbed the tray with his bare hands. It took him a moment to realize the immense pain he was in, after which he dropped the tray and screamed in agony.

“LANCE!” Herbert quickly turned around and ran to his husband, who was now kneeling on  the floor and holding his burnt hands out in front of him. “Are you alright?!”

“I JUST SCORCHED MY HANDS, NO I’M NOT ALRIGHT!” Lance shouted, “I’M SORRY IM YELLING AT YOU, I’M VERY HURT RIGHT NOW!”

“Ok, ok, try to calm down,” Herbert grabbed Lance’s wrists to steady him, “I don’t think it’s that bad. Here,” He dragged the bucket of water over to them and placed knight’s hands inside, “This should help with the burns. I’ll go get some bandages; I’ll be right back!” Herbert scurried out of the kitchen, and soon returned with a roll of gauze. Upon returning to the kitchen, he saw that Lance had tear streaks down his cheeks and his face was flushed.

“Oh, Lance,” Herbert kneeled down next to the man and cupped his face in his delicate hands, “Does it hurt that bad? I’m sure I can find  somethi -”

“No,” Lance whimpered, wiping the tears from his face, “No, it’s not that bad, it’s just...” He looked down into the bucket of water, clearly wanting to avoid the prince’s gaze, “... It’s just, I feel kind of embarrassed. I should’ve used a... cloth glove,  _ I forget what they’re called _ ; but I didn’t, and I hurt myself, and I feel stupid.”

Herbert lifted Lance’s head back up, “Hey,” he wiped another tear from his face with his thumb, “Don’t talk like that, you’re not stupid.” He pulled the knight’s hands out of the water and began to wrap the bandages around each of them. The soft trail of Herbert’s hands against his damaged skin caused Lance to blush. Once his hands were wrapped, Herbert gave them a gentle kiss, “There, all better!”

“Hey, what about up here?” Lance whined. Herbert giggled and kissed him on his lips, which tasted slightly of salt. He pulled away and smiled at the beautiful face before him. “Happy now?”

“I will be if you feed me some of those cookies!”

“Lance, they’re all on the floor, they-”

“I know what I’m about, dear.”

Herbert sighed.  _ Ok, maybe he is a bit stupid. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ummmm I'm so sorry this is so horrendously late. Finals mixed with holiday exhaustion topped with writer's block resulted in a complete mess. But don't worry, I will finish this series! Just instead of the last chapter being posted on Christmas Eve, it will now be on New Years Eve. Again, I'm very sorry, and I hope you enjoy!


	4. A New Year’s Ball

“Arthur, you’re shivering like mad!”

Arthur turned to his Guinevere, who was standing next to him on the balcony of their room. She had a look of concern across her face as she watched her husband stand in the falling snow, bundled up but still shaking with cold.

“Oh, uh, I’m fine, darling! Just a little chilly, you know?” Arthur laughed off his wife’s observation, but as he rubbed his hands up and down his arms, he began to realize that she may be right.

He hated wearing coats; they were bulky and uncomfortable and didn’t let him move as freely as he wanted too. This was often a topic of argument between the two. Whenever he got caught trying to leave the castle with the knights without his jacket, she dragged him back in, scolded him, and sent him back out with his coat and kiss. Once, he actually managed to escape without Gwen noticing, but about half a mile’s walk from the castle, she had caught up to them (without even the slightest loss of breath, I might add) and relinquished the dreaded article to him. And, just as sure as she had before, she brought it up tonight.

“You should wear your jacket if you’re that cold.”

“I have a sweater on, I’m fine!” Arthur huffed, bouncing on his toes to keep himself warm.

“Sweetheart,” Gwen scolded, “I don’t want you going into the new year with a cold.” She watched him continue to shiver for a moment before she decided to take matters into her own hands. “Well, if you won’t wear anything, I guess you’ll have to wear me.” She quickly snuck her arms around Arthur, who let out a small gasp. “What is it, Art?”

“No, it’s just, I forgot how strong your arms are!” the king mused in astonishment as he gently stroked the queen’s arms, “They make me feel... so protected. It’s wonderful.” He sighed as he leaned his head back on to Gwen’s shoulder.

She quietly laughed as she kissed him on his temples. “I can’t protect you from the cold that well, though.”

“ _You probably could, you’re so strong,_ ” Arthur absentmindedly muttered, “Want to go downstairs? The party should be starting soon!”

Gwen tenderly smiled, “That sounds lovely.”

* * *

“That sounds lovely!”

“Alrighty, then,” Galahad stood up and walked over to his dresser, “Champagne it is!” He opened the bottom drawer and pulled out two bottles from below some article of clothing. “I always keep a few of these hidden for emergencies.”

“Wowie,” Bedevere giggled, “I don’t know if we’ll need _two_ bottles, though.”

Galahad sat back down next to the knight and handed him a bottle, “ _I_ will.” He popped open the bottle in his hands and immediately took a swig.

“Jesus!” Bedevere watched as Galahad gulped down at least a fifth of the bottle, “You’re not messing around, are you?”

Galahad wiped the corner of his mouth and grinned at his boyfriend, “Nope.” He turned his head to look out of the window in his room. “Back in the mud village, nothing was built well, so it was cold as shit. So, for three months, the entire town would bundle up, gather together, and drink like madmen to keep warm. Whenever it starts to get cold, I always feel a great need to get drunk off my ass.” He stood up, took another drink, walked over to the window, and looked out over the land. Bedevere followed him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “You feeling nostalgic?”

“Kind of,” Galahad muttered into the snowy night sky, “It’s a little silly, but I really miss my mother. During the holidays, she would make this _amazing_ roast. And she would make me little dolls of knights and kings. I got to make decisions about how they would rule the kingdom. I guess that’s why I wanted to be involved in politics. I... also made the dolls kiss each other, so that probably explains something else.”

Bedevere chuckled. He wrapped his arms around Galahad’s waist and nuzzled his neck. “That’s not silly at all. It’s actually very sweet.” Bedevere started swaying to the music flowing from the room below, and Galahad swayed with him. “I’m sorry you can’t spend this year with your mother.”

“Y’know, it’s not that bad. I’ve got all the all the knights; they’re pretty nice. One knight in particular is _really_ amazing! He’s very talented, and handsome, and _thick_.”

“Wait, who?” Bedevere almost sadly asked, to which Galahad glared at him.

“...Oh, me!” Bedevere blushed once the obvious realization dawned on him. “Thank you, dear.”

Galahad leaned over and planted a kiss on his lips. Bedevere licked his lips and smiled, “Good champagne. Want to head down to the party?”

“Maybe in a bit. I like our own little party. Plus,” The blonde reached down beside the bed and pulled out a tray of meats and cheeses that was most likely stolen from downstairs, “I’ve got food!”

Bedevere rolled his eyes. “Oh, good lord.”

* * *

“Oh, good lord!” Herbert exclaimed with his mouth full, “These are delicious!”

“Aw, thanks, Herb!” Patsy beamed at the young prince, who was currently shoving latkes into his mouth with obvious delight. “I made _way_ too many during Hanukkah, so it’s good they’re getting put to use.”

“Of course you made too many!” Lancelot added, “He’s been cooking 24/7 since 12:01 November 5th"

“Oh please, considering how much I made and how much is left, I’m surprised you all haven’t keeled over already.”

Herbert laughed at his husband who, after sticking his tongue out at Patsy and sending him away, turned to the short blonde and muttered, “ _He doesn’t know what he’s talking about._ ”

“Well, maybe he does,” Herbert teased, “You have gotten a little chubby over the holidays!”

“Hey!” Lance whined.

“Oh, hush. I like this new body.” Herbert slid a hand across Lance’s stomach onto his waist. “I’m not complaining about your rock-hard abs, but it’s nice having something soft to lay on.” Herbert perked up on his toes and quickly kissed the knight, who erupted into a blushing, flustered mess. “T-thank.”

Herbert smiled and started walking across the ballroom, and Lance followed. “I’m know you’re all about being healthy and fit, but I think it’s good you’re letting yourself relax a bit. It really shows that you’re improviAW FAUK!”

“Oh, Herbie, what happened?” Lance inquired as he watched his husband bend over in pain.

“I STUBBED ME FUCKAIN TOE!” Herbert grimaced, clenching his fists and teeth.

“Oh, poor thing! Here, sit down.” Lance led the prince to a chair next to the table he had just encountered.

“AH JEASUS CHRIST, ‘AT ‘URT LIKE A BITCH!” Herbert continued cursing, but stopped when he heard a faint laughter coming from Lance. “WOT?”

“Your voice,” Lance tried to speak through his restrained laughter, “Your swamp accent’s slipping through.”

“NO, IT’S NAWT!”

Lance finally couldn’t contain it anymore and started howling with laughter, causing Herbert to get even more annoyed. “’S NAWT FUNNAY! STOAP ET!”

“Oh, I’m sorry darling!” Lance cupped his husband’s face and kissed him on the forehead. “You’re just too cute to be angry!”

Lance was immediately grabbed by his shirt and pulled in close to Herbert’s face, “Watch me.”

“W-wow, ok, I was wrong, I love you, please don’t hurt me.”

Herbert smirked and let go, “I’m sorry, dear. I just don’t like my accent that much. ‘S not very proper and I feel a little embarrassed about it; especially around you all.”

“Hey,” Lance ruffled the top of Herbert’s hair, “Don’t be embarrassed around them; they’re all idiots- especially me.”

Herbert laughed and kissed the knight in front of him. “My toes don’t hurt as much anymore; would you care to dance?” Lancelot stood and held out a strong hand.

“I would be delighted!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had been completed! I hope you all enjoyed this (despite my infrequent updates, which I’m very sorry for) and I hope you all have a wonderful New Year!!


End file.
